Why the Twilight series is an epic fail and how that makes Stephanie Meyer a pubescent whore.

Eversince vampires were introduced to civilization, mortals like us have been fascinated about how vampires live on blood and why that makes them nocturnal which goes to the well-known stereotype of them vampies being the 'sexy' and 'sensual' and 'romantic' beings.
Bram Stoker's illustration of vampires being sensual creatures that uses seduction to drink up blood is indeed kinky. Stoker's idealization of vampire was the 'thing' till about two years ago a bitch named Stephanie Meyer started a gig about vampires that sparkle and their unsual interest in making babies.

The whole vampire gig had been turned upside down since.

Pea-witted young teenagers fell for this whole sparkling vampires thing and it evolved into something so phenomenal it became a religion. Everywhere you turn you see giggly schoolgirls going gaga over posters of the infamous yet absolutely GAY Edward Cullen and NewMoon himbo Jacob who wears a really bad wig and goes shirtless most of the time who pines for the really dull and mentally retarded Bella.

Reasons why Edward is a pussy:
a) He just is. What the fuck is with him sparkling anyway?
b) He is a masochist.( he bullies Bella and later confesses of doing this because he loves her. Sadism anyone?)
c) Dumps Bella's sorry ass and returns later when a much better looking werewolf itching to stick his wang in her appears.

Bella is a retard because:
a) After being influenced by rumors of Edward being a killer she satiate her curiousity by bringing him into a deep forest to question him. Ponder this bitch, what if he really is a killer and he decided that YOU will be his next victim? I'd like to see you begging for your life. Perhaps if you suck his dick, he might let you go.
b) Even after Edward warns her the danger of being with him she still insists to be with him. Of course she would stick with him. She needs a change from her sorry-ass boring life to some entertainment. Like constantly being the damsel in distress and have horny ethereal creatures save her. What a thrill it must be to be piggybacked by a completely blood-drained vamp and a shirtless werewolf. Admit it bitch, you just want to rub on some male meat.


So there.

Now why Stephenie Meyer is a pubescent whore?
She wrote this book after having a wet dream.
Yes, a fucking wet dream.
Talk about writing a book on a whim.
It's just her unfullfiled fantasy morphed into desire in dreams and she decided to write it down.
Obviously someone had lots of love failures.
It's like a bimbo writing about a memoir of herself where all she talks about is how she gets indecisive about which skin-revealing cloth would make her look more trampy, diet plan for her already skeletal figure, which guy she should spread her legs to next, how drunk she should get before throwing up on someone's car and things that no one gives a shit about.
Only she would write fucking 700 pages about it.


Unbelievably retarded and despicable.

I must say, she made a complete joke about this whole vampire gig thing and now the noble dignity of vampires are gone forever. Now they are replaced by boyband vampires who sparkle.


Stepanie Meyer cant write to save the fart in her ass. Mentioning Edward Cullen resembles Adonis every three sentence and dialogues that makes no sense. I can't even begin to imagine the crap she wrote that took up 700 pages.

Listen up you Failight lovers, us sensible people want badass ruthless bloodsucking vampires who kills people on whim, not emotionally/mentally challenged boyband vamps that sparkles and makes babies.

If Bram Stoker had to see this, he would have a seizure. I am so glad he's spared all this catastrophe.


People with intelligence like us wants this:




NOT this:

is it me or does it look like he's orgasming in the sun?

You call this sexy? He looks like a goddamned rapist for heaven's sake!

James Cameron's Avatar

I anticipated this movie for a very long time since the production began in 2004. I am extremely glad that I waited this long for I did not go home dissapointed. The CGI quality was at it's height of technology, the story completely original and solid with superb acting to go with it.

The story is set in a futuristic world where some greedy rich bastards found a new mineral that would make them richer than they already are. The only glitch is, the local people called the Na'vi's hated the fact that the "Sky People" destroys their forest(they refer to the forest as Mother). The scientist then decided to create artificial Na'vi's so that later on these puppets would blend in with the real Na'vis and gain their trust. Our hero, Jake Sully is an injured Marine paralysed from the waist down was chosen to be one of the host identity to be incorporated into the Na'vi puppets. The hosts' consciousness is transfered to the Na'vi bodies that were genetically enginereed for some time. When they are transfered into their Na'Vi bodies they are called Avatars. When Jake Sully was on a mission, he accidently got left behind and spent the night in a forest he had only set foot for a few hours. Trying to survive from the creatures that thought he might make a good dinner, he was saved by a (real) Na'Vi girl who knew he wasn't one of them. Neytiri(as she later was known) brings Jake to her people and the elders(who are her parents, which makes her the princess of some sort) decides that he shall be trained to be one of them. Guess ho was in charge of babysitting him?
It's so obvious.
Much to Neytiri's chagrin, she deems Jake as 'fool' and 'ignorant child' but he eventually falls in love with their way of life and of course, Neytiri.
A ruthless soldier Captain Quatrich approached Jake proposing that he becomes one of Na'vis and find out the main site of the precious
mineral I mentioned earlier. In exchange for that information, he promised Jake a spine surgery that will enable him to walk again. Tempted by this offer, Jake agrees to be the underdog. Thorn between his great need to walk again and his newfound love for the Na'Vis, what will jake do?
I will stop here as it will ruin the rest of the story for those who haven't watched it. ^^

Characters:

Jake Sully as a Na'Vi and as himself.


Zoe Saldana as Neytiri.



Fun Facts:

James Cameron intended to release Avatar after Titanic but the CGI quality was not advanced so he had to put off this project for 10 years. He decided it was ready to make after seeing Gollum from Lord of the Rings.
The Na'Vis are called ThunderSmurfs affectionately buy fans.
Na'Vis are catlike people whose average height is about 10-12 feet. Yes, that's two humans put on top of one another. They are tall, lanky beautiful creatures.
Only 40% is real acting. The rest is CGI. The beads, headdresses and the very being of Na'vis are all computer generated.
You could see the ethereal creatures in Avatar that were based on our world animals. Horses with two pairs of frontal legs, monkeys two pairs of arms, hammerhead rhinocerous, dragons, and luminescent jellyfishes that glides about beautifully in the air, dogs with three claws and giant spiral fungis.