Ever Wondered How Valentine's Day Came About?

Let me tell you a brief history of why Valentine's Day shouldn't get the respect it's getting.

In ancient Rome, soldiers were forbidden to marry back then. Wait, dont hyperventilate! There's a good reason and logic to this, listen. When a soldier marries, his life is uncertain - he may die today or survive a war ending up a cripple.

Lets say a soldier dies in war. His wife and kids would be homeless and suffer till they die because no one wants to look after a widow that comes with a brood. And women had no rights back then. They were simply assets to men as breeding vessels.

Nobody wants them, nobody wants to look after them. So what happens? Poverty rates goes up, illiteracy rates go up, more social problems(women start engaging in crimes because they had no money to after their kids) and more diseases(women started to become prostitues to earn a living and spreading venereal diseases to the public, they dont have condoms back then remember?)

Hence, you have a bunch of needy dependant women on the governments hands and they take up a lot of money. (charity wise)

Hence, the Romans came out with a rule: Miles non licet nubere. It means A SOLDIER IS NOT ALLOWED TO MARRY.

This is a very good rule. When soldiers are single men, there wont be any unwanted widows, less crime rates and less new diseases being introduced everyday.

Father St.Valentine was a priest who married soldiers in secrets. He was an insipid fool who believed in the overrated 'power of love'. He thought he was doing a good deed by uniting lovers in their forbidden passion but in actuality he just made matters worse.

Even with the edict implemented there are still widows around, how? The culprit we all know as Father St.Valentine. The stupid man who went against a sensible law and had his comeuppance not long after(Thank God) He was beheaded in public. Yay!

Now, the soldiers are really pissed. They think a hero had been severely mistreated and decided to have a daycelebrating his 'noble' heroic death. The day he was executed 14 FEBRUARY became St.Valentine's Day and since then it had been a day for all clueless couples to celebrate. Yippie yay hooray for them ignorant imbeciles.

So, now do you at least uderstand why I laugh at couples who celebrate Valentine's Day?