1. The Celebrity
Announces everything nobody cares. The culprit of this subhuman is almost always a teenage female or a young adult female. She thinks it's alright to tell everyone who cares to know that her puppy had just taken it's first dump or that she bought $1m worth of shoes.
2. The Newscaster
This person is up to date about everything's that happening in this world. His/her status usually is in the lines of "BIG NEWS! Miley Cyrus made a sex tape to boost her dwindling poularity! Is she trying to follow the footsteps of Kim Kardiashian?"
ps: Apologies. Those trashy parasitic family seem to be everywhere. Did you hear., the youngest sibling wants to start a socks line for atheletes...right...
3. The Princess
She's probably talks with fuzzy animals in the forests and cleans the house for her evil stepmother. She is always in a relationship - no matter who her beau is - and often posts stastuses that goes "If he doesn't stop his videogame to chat with you then he's not the one!".
How is she even attractive to boys I want to know? The male counterpart of this type of subhuman also exists but posts about how he loves his 'queen of his heart' and will never let her go. Ugh...
4. The Grim Reaper
"By the time you read this message, I would not be in this world anymore for I have plummeted from a high building to meet my demise." Uh huh. Just give this kid a damn cake and tell her/him to cheer up already.
5. The Troll
He/she posts dubious links to websites that only makes your harddrive weep. By the time you realize it, your computer has caught an STD known as Trojan Virus. He/she also has a identity issue for they can be seen writing like these "Yo ma homies whr u at? Imma be w8tin' fo u at usual crib. You digg brah?" Please, please someone just chuck them in the waste bin for the love of everything's that holy.
6. The Stalker
They like your every status, comments on everything and likes your pictures from 2008. Before checking their notifications they check YOUR PROFILE NEWSFEEDS to see what you're up to. Occasionally, they would post on your wall with awkward messages.
Take my advice and delete them off your list because my personal encounter with one was nasty.
~*~
I admit it to being The Newscaster. Damn.
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