Things You're Not Told About Menarche

You know the exact moment you discover that your uterus lining decide to break apart and ooze messy, weird smelling blood and clots? That's what menarche is. It's your very first period.

Every girl experiences it differently. Some girls feel no pain and they just discover some smudge of blood on their panties. And they're like, oh!

Some girls have a more dramatic experience: the lower abdomen twists from within causing sometimes vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, headaches, lethargy, mood swings, cravings, crying episodes, the whole human mess thing.

Here's my experience of menarche. I was 13. It was during a class. I had this very uncomfortable pains on my lower back, like something was swollen and it was throbbing. Sitting was agonizing. By lunchtime, I felt something "goopy" coming out of my vagina. I ran to the girls, and woah! Mass of putrid brown-black clumps. It was jelly-like and solid so I could collect it (with tissues ya nasty!) and flush it down the toilet. I saw traces of blood. I knew then that I got my period. Luckily the girl's bathroom in my school had a pad dispenser so I was able to purchase one and set myself out. I called my mother and asked her to pick me up because I was nervous, scared and wanted desperately to be at home. This was huge. This was the moment where I am gonna have to relive this every month until menopause sets in. I was extremely overwhelmed. I just wanted my mother by my side.

I should consider myself lucky: My cycles are only 3-4 days and I am what you call a light bleeder. I don't need heavy duty pads at all, except for my second day. My pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS) include extreme cravings, water retention, diarrhea and constipation, moodiness and discomfort on my lower back. I am swollen EVERYWHERE.

The reason why your menarche would most definitely be a mess of putrid black-brown clumps and goo is because that particular batch of uterus lining had been sleeping inside your uterus since you had formed your gender in your mother's womb. That's right: when you were a fetus, and when your fetal development had come to a stage where your biological gender had taken form, your uterus lining had already formed. Basically a ticking timer ready to come out when your biological clock decides "Hmn, time for this 11 year old to bear children!".

Oh yes, some girls get it when they are 9 years old, some get it when they are older like 16-17. There is no 'right age' to get your period. You get it when you get it. The common age is between 12-14 years old. Getting it younger or later than most girls in your class does not mean your systems are faulty. HELL NO. Obliterate that toxic thought from your head this instant!

Factors like nutrition can contribute to when you get your period, but your genetic plays a more powerful role. Remember that.

After your menarche, it may take up to 2 months for your body to find its cycle. The month I got my menarche? I had a second period 2 weeks later. This cycle was also a putrid black-brown mess. The next month, I had it for only 3 days and it was all very light. The third month is where things have started to settle down and I could see a regular pattern settling. I saw no more of that brown-black clump. From that point onwards I could see that the PMS symptoms I mentioned above is something that I can anticipate before the Kraken in my uterus is unleashed. The minute I get my period, all PMS subsides JUST. LIKE. THAT.

Your menarche may be painless or it can hurt the living bejeesus out of you. Your period can be 3-4 days like mine, or it can be 5-7 days like most girls. Your symptoms can be so extreme that you need to take leave from work or school, or you barely feel it. You may need to use extreme absorbency pads, or just a lightweight one. You may find that tampon works best for you. Trust me when I say it would a journey of discovery. You will try with many brands of tampons and pads before you settle with one that suits your cycle the best. You will find out what coping methods are the best for your pre and post menstruation. You will find that apart from pads and tampons, mooncups are also an option.

Your physical changes will lead to emotional changes. You will discover your sexuality. Your will start to get interested in knowing more about sexuality. You may research about safe ways to go about it. This is where you will need to engage with a trusted older female in your life to ask questions. NEVER be afraid to ask questions.

A website that helped me in my teens to understand my "growing pains": http://www.scarleteen.com/