01 November 2017

Your thumb determines your orgasm

Assume we're talking about penetrative sex here. Eg, male-female and female masturbation.

Here's the thing ladies, your husband/boyfriend/fuckbuddy might be dynamite in the sack. He knows his tantric, his kamasutra and whatnot. But for the life of you, you can't ever finish even when he's pumping through you at a jetset speed.

It's not about your sex drive, it's not that you had been asexual all along, it's not that your systems are faulty.

Blame your vaginal opening and clitoris.

That's right.

Have you heard of the "rule of thumb" when it comes to female penetrative orgasm? Turns out the distance between your vaginal opening and clitoris DOES affect how easy it would be for you to orgasm.

The rule of thumb is measured on the tip of the thumb to the first joint ie the fingerprint area. The closer your vaginal opening is to your clitoris, the easier for you to orgasm. The friction in penetrative sex does stimulate the clitoris, thus enabling you to have orgasm easier than most women whose vaginal opening is a mile away from good ol' Aunt Clit.

Who discovered this? A sexually dissatisfied French Princess, Marie Bonaparte discovered that she could never orgasm from penetrative sex alone. She surmised that the longer the C-V (clitoral-vagina) distance, the hardest it is for women to orgasm. Her sample of patients (she was a doctor so she was legally allowed to do this experiment) who complained of "frigidity" were found to have long(er) distance of C-V than those who could orgasm easily (lucky bitches). Princess Marie was unfortunately one of this. She helped to establish with her very empirical and reliable stats about women's ability to orgasm.

But the good news is she did discover a specific sexual position that could stimulate orgasm from penetrative sex: both in seated position with the woman having her hips raised slightly to match her partners peen and thrusting the hips while being face to face with her partner. This enabled the peen to thrust exactly right to friction against the clitoris, enabling the revolutionary princess to orgasm.

It took one sexually disgruntled woman to help dispel the myth of frigidity for the rest of the women out there. Sisters before misters.

The good Princess identified three (3) categories of C-V distance:

1) Paraclitoridiennes: C-V distance is the shortest and easiest to orgasm.
2) Mesoclitoriennes: C-V distance is in the intermediate. Eventual orgasm guaranteed. I think this bitch would be one of those who can last the longest.
3) Teleclitoridiennes: C-V distance is the longest. Women of this category have the hardest time achieving orgasm. Hey think about it though, longer sexy time?

How you can measure this?

Sit comfortably with your legs spread apart, and put a mirror in front of you. Spread apart of your labia and observe where your clitoris is, and where your vaginal opening is. If your vaginal opening is WAAAAYYY below your clitoris with her neighbour being the anus, then you're a Type 3. If you were to put your thumb in between this space, it would fit very nicely.

If your vaginal opening is right below or very near to your clitoris, congrats! You are the lucky bitch with multiple orgasms. And squirting too. Type 1 bitch.

If your immediate neighbour is the clitoris and anus at a same distance, you're Type 2. You're also lucky!

So the next time yo man get tuckered before you do because you never seem to genuinely say "oh yes right there!" truthfully,  tell him to WERK FOR IT.

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