Bahubali (2015) Review

WARNING: NOT SPOILER-FREE.

Smashing is the word that comes into my mind to describe this movie.

Excellent camerawork, engaging storytelling, compelling acting and all-round superb filming. That 40 million budget was put into VERY good use.

Princes, Queens and Kings actually LOOKED their part. And might I add that Ramya Krishnan was BOSS as the QUEEN. If someone told me she is the queen, I would fall at her feet going "Amma, deivameh!".

I am too overwhelmed to describe how awesome this movie was because the entire time I was beeming with pride on seeing such a well-conceived South Indian film.

Where do I start pinpointing this movie’s excellence?

1)      Female characters with substance

The feminist in me was screaming YAS BITCH YAS seeing women in such important roles getting the same respect as the male characters. The women in this movie are not dolled-up damsels in distress waiting to be rescued. One was a nursing mother, a Queen no less who kicked ass in a dagger while holding a baby in her arms. The next scene was of her breast-feeding babies while having an audience with her royal council which very quickly turned into a bloodbath. And she was not done breastfeeding her babies.  I don’t think even Western movies would depict a woman kicking ass while carrying a child. Did I also mention she walked miles with an arrow on her back carrying a child, killing two assailants while she was bleeding to death? THIS is the kind of strength I wanted to see in female characters.

All hail the Queen!

Tamannah to a certain degree was impressive in her role as a warrior. But her overacting killed it. I got a new sense of respect for her – getting down dirty in mud and wet with blood and muck all over is a very fresh thing to see from her usual roles of pristine, shining beautiful bishoujo. I felt like the director/producers wanted to keep that pristine pretty lady image of hers because I felt that her character could have been ‘more’ than a love interest. Her character development became stunted when she met the Protag.

Fun Fact: Typical sexism in Indian cinema. Not ONE depiction of Tamannah in her warrior outfit when I tried googling it. 

2)      Animation

I wouldn’t compare it to Avatar, but South Indian movies are notorious for using comical aniation quality. I mean look at the disappointment that is Kochaidaiyaan. Good script botched by abysmal animation. But we’re talking about Bahubali here. The animation in this movie was smooth and compatible with the flow of the movie.

This guy was scary-awesome weyh. 

3)      Costumes

This movie is a 3-hour long costume porn. I was jizzing the entire time. The amount of work and dedication put into the costumes were very, very commendable. Beautiful, stylish and practical. The costume and makeup of the Kalakeya people are something to behold! I am even glad that they took the trouble of inventing a ‘barbarian’ language.

4)      Background sceneries

This movie does not disappoint MARK MY WORDS it’s like taking a gander on paradise.

Them abs. UNF.

5)      Acting talent

Apart from Tamannah’s overacting – everyone else was pretty on point with their roles. Everyone nailed their roles flawlessly. It was easier as the younger actors were quite easy on the eyes! Cucilah mata habis-habis! The natural acting was one of the star points of this movie – even the extras were chosen carefully. An epic like this, you can’t have rookies.

6)      Cinematography

The war sequence of this movie is definitely the highlight of this film, apart from the Portag’s gorgeous abs, of course ohoks.

So to sum it up – this movie is worth every penny.

If you’re the kind of machas and machis who prefer garbage like Maari or masala films, I advise you to still watch this movie, in the hope that you will learn to appreciate quality films.

10/10 would recommend.

Malaysian Passport Renewal - How To Guide and Shenanigans (Part 2)

Continuation of this. The finale of an enthralling saga. Cheh wah.

So, yesterday was a thrilling day of waiting somewhat long hours for IC renewal. Today was the tedious job of renewing passport. Sleep and rest was not meant for me since Christmas last week. Siapa sumpah aku ah lanjiao.

Anyhoo, My work usually finishes half past four, so that gave me plenty of heads up to leave before the usual 5pm/5.30pm/6pm end shift hours.

I chose UTC Immigration Office for the following reasons:

a) Operating hours are amazing. They close at 10.30pm. Which means those who are working need not sacrifice their well-deserved rest on the weekends and attend the weekend passport office. After work they could come over to UTC which is located at:

b) Plaza Rakyat Ampang Line. That's like the transit station strategically located in Masjid Jamek Putra LRT. From Ampang Line Masjid Jamek, you will need to reach Plaza Rakyat station. It's the station right after Ampang Line Masjid Jamek. Satu jer, so jangan komplen. Right after reaching, just go down and exit. You wanna follow the signboard that says "Jalan Tun Tan Cheng Lock".

c) You will find yourself passing through a caged pedestrian walkway. It is a perfect opportunity to pretend you're in a zombie apocalypse movie. After an approximate 3-minute walk, you would come to a small descending of staircase, at this point you would want to turn immediately to your right and keep walking until you find a door. Your clue to know you're in the right place? As soon as you turn immediately right, it should be a place where they park motorcycles. Follow towards the door. You're now in a building that looks like an unfinished mall. Turn immediately to your left and look for a clear-glass elevator. Your clue here is that beside the clear-glass elevator, there should be a customer service pondok overlooking the building's main entrance.

d) Get on the funky looking clear-glass elevator. Get the fuck in it. You would want to go to the 2nd Floor. In the meantime, pretend you're in Willy Wonka's glass elevator.

e) After exiting the 2nd floor, look for UTC JPN Office. The Immigration/Passport Office is literally opposite UTC JPN.

f) Apalagi? Masuk and take a number lah!


What you need to bring:

a) Renewal
- Your IC (it has to be the 80k chip one, not the one you took when you were 12 or the blue IC implementation back in 2003 version.) Look for Part 1 to know how you can renew your IC.

- Your old passport. They must be snipped at the corners by the officers and be returned to you.

b) First Time
- Just walk in with your IC. Again, IC must the 80k chip, not the 2003 version or when you were 12 years old.

****

When you have the necessary documents, proceed to Counter 1 to get a numbah. You have the choice to take 2 years (RM100) or 5 years (RM300). Yours Truly is broke and doesn't travel a lot so she took the former. You're likely the 80th person in a 00' series. Take it from Yours Truly. So go yum cha, makan. There's a food court on the 4th floor. All Malay food.

Don't take too long to eat. Your number WILL be called one hour later. When it is your turn, you will need to produce your numbah slip, application form, old passport and IC. I went to renew mine. Officer would take thumb prints, ask to check an electronic application form that s/he printed, check the spelling, your name and all other details. Sign. You will be given a charcoal pad where you will put a thumbprint on the electronic application form. Your thumb print would also be taken electronically.

Take picture, don't smile a lot. A slight smile or no smile is the way. Globally, passport offices no longer accept a full-on gleeful smiles on your passport. Something about terrorist being frowny, grumpy-faced characters. Don't ask. There was a Malay girl who smiled from ear-to-ear, the officer actually said "Adik! Janagan senyum macam tuh, Nanti dia tak bagi masuk!". I ROLF-ed!

Also, wear dark clothes. If you happen to wear rainbow neon pink baju, s/he will ask you to wear a black blazer. Ears and eyebrows must be visible. By all means, again, don't smile like you smuggled Alpacas from Machu-Picchu.

5 minutes of that. Done. Next, your number will be called again. Here you will proceed to Counter 9 for payment. Whatever that you choose, bayar. Lepas tuh itu akak kasi you satu receipt, you simpan itu resit baik-baik.

Again, exactly one hour later, your passport would be ready. Your number will be called. You would proceed to Counters 10-12 for pickup.

Produce your receipt and IC. Sign here and there, thumbprint, passport is yours.

Now go home. Get lost. You won't ever have to think about this place until you need it again.

I came in at 5pm, I left at 8.30pm. 3+ hours. NOT BAD FOR MALAYSIAN STANDARDS!

I am seriously happy with the overall service and the timescale it took for me to finish this. It is a real Godsend to have Passport Offices that open till 10.30pm. UTC Immigration Office deserves all the kudos.

Sekian.

Renewing Malaysian IC: How To Guide and Shenanigans (Part 1)

Being born right in 1990, I would be 25 exactly next year. Let me detail you the events which led me to renew my IC to begin with.

It began when I started working. I was told that after my probation, I would be sent to UK for work training purposes. Then it clicked - my passport expired like, few years ago. So I choose the week of Christmas to do my passport renewal. Off I went to Shah Alam Passport Office which is about 12 minute taxi ride from KTM Shah Alam. Reaching there, I was told that the numbers sold out. Hungry, tired, disappointed and sleep deprived, I asked if I could simply take a number for tomorrow since I am from PJ and I don't have the luxury of coming here often. The Shah Alam officer said no but revealed that UTC Sentral Office near Plaza Rakyat Station opens from 8am till 10.30pm daily. 10.30pm daily. Until night?? 7 days a week?? That is awesome! So off we went to Masjid Jamek Station on December 26th (my office declared this day as holiday), transited to Monorail and took to Plaza Rakyat. Upon reaching there, the crowd was not that bad. I was told renewal can be done on that day itself just "tunggu 2 jam lah" (just wait 2 hours). Feeling upbeat, I presented to him my old passport and IC.

The immediate response was "Sorry Cik, IC kena IC baru, sebab Cik lahir tahun 90, sebelum 25 dah kena ada IC baru, Mandatori. Kalau tak, ada kompaun" (Sorry Miss, IC must be new, because you are born in the 90's, you must change to the new IC before you're 25. Mandatory, or else you would be fined). At this point, I had flipped my shit, because not only did I travel from one end of Selangor to another end of Kuala Lumpur, I had to sacrifice my sleep and holiday to do a shit that should not have taken more than 5 hours. And honestly I did not know rat squat about this new IC rule. But luckily, UTC is a one-stop place where most governmental bodies are located on the same floor (from police stations, JPN's, Commissioner for Oaths and of course the coveted Passport Office). UTC JPN was right in front of UTC Passport Office so we went there. Malang tidak berbau, 26th December 2014 was a Friday, which meant the Malaysian Government servants have a long lunch break that ends at 2.45pm. And UTC JPN does not open on weekends unlike the UTC Passport Office.

My driving class was scheduled at 3pm. It was 12pm when we were at UTC JPN front door.

This is impossible. I cannot cancel my class, I'd be charged RM30. I am not spending money on unnecessary bullshit.

So with a foul mood and equally foul words coming out of my mouth, I headed home where my next stop is my driving school.

With a heavy heart and burning anger, I programmed my brain to get used to the idea that my weekends would be spent waiting long hours in some crummy JPN office. And the "best" part is it came true.

On December 26th, After my driving class finished at 6pm, I headed to Midvalley where I bought tickets for The Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies. I am anticipating a shitty long weekend might as well have SOME consolation where I'd be basking in Thranduil's beautiful brilliance. Got the tickets for 27th December and headed home at about 8pm.

Reached home close to 9pm. I had been waking/moving/mobile from 8.00am on the 26th and up till 8.00pm on the same day. I was furious, tired, disgruntled, moody, hungry and absolutely livid that my off-day had been ruined.

Let move on to the morning of 27th. Woke up at an ungodly hour, reached KTM Shah Alam before the office hours.

Fun Fact: JPN Shah Alam which is located in Plaza Masalam (6th Floor) at Section 9 is the only JPN that opens in the weekends for Selangor/Kuala Lumpur precinct. Accessible by car only. From KTM Shah Alam, a taxi there takes about 15 minutes, charging between RM5 to RM7. Opening hours are from 8am to 1pm only on weekends. Weekdays, normal working hours. 

Shah Alam JPN was swarming with people. You'd think you would be the odd character who does their IC so late in life but no...ader jugak orang berpusu-pusu nak renew IC dan replace IC hilang.

I managed to get a number. I reached there 8.30am. I had 80+ people before my turn. Some showed up after their number got called, some didn't. Which helped sped up the waiting process as I wanted to finish this bullshit so I could get my passport done. I know that it won't be processed today.
When my number was called, I filled up a form and gave my old IC. Prints from both my thumbs were taken. Next, my IC picture. Bear in mind, you are required to wear dark clothes for your IC. If you wore bright clothes, a black jacket would be given. For Hijabi's, a black headscarf was provided.

But if you don't mind sharing the headlice and armpit sweat of random strangers, then cool wear whatever you want. I decided to wear a dark green shirt. So no smelly jackets for me!

The came the picture session. I was told to remove my glasses as they needed to see my face without any obstruction. So off my glasses went. Senyum! (Smile!). Aku tak senyum pun. Tak cukup tidur nak senyum apa? I don't even want to be there. Done, a receipt was be issued. Hold on to this receipt since this would be used to pick up your IC next day. The entire waiting process was 1.5 hours. Taking forms, my old IC and picture for new IC, 5 minutes. Reaching home from KTM Shah Alam to Petaling Station. 45 minutes. Reached home before lunchtime. That night, I had managed to bask upon Thranduil's beauty.

Let's move on to the 28th. Woke up a little late, since I know IC pickups will always have numbers and is relatively fast. Again the same routine - Shah Alam KTM> Taxi > Plaza Masalam > 6th Floor. At reception, produce the receipt, a number would be given. Wait for your number, I didn't have to wait long. Like the day before, some people missed their numbers and some had collected theirs relatively fast. My turn came. Went to the counter. Produced the receipt and old IC. Officer takes the old IC, both thumbs print verification, new IC issued. Took about 5 minutes at most.

Dah, beres. Selesai. Balik. Tak payah pikiaq tentang IC lagi.

This time, I balik rumah dengan hati yang lapang dan suka hati but extremely tired and sleep deprived.

I am seriously looking forward to the Public Holiday on 1st January 2015. I WANT TO SLEEP AND WAKE UP AS LATE AS I WANT MY LONG WEEKEND WAS FUCKING RUINED OMG.

Part 2 will be about the Passport Office in UTC near Plaza Rakyat Monorail. I am going there after work on Monday. Will tell y'all what happened. I gotta a feeling I would be bringing a book.

Sekian.

Silk Smitha: A Peek Into Her Bold, Charismatic Life

I have seen this actress on-off throughout my life, mostly coming from my parents who watch movies from the 70's and 80's. I sometimes see this bold, and voluptuous young woman doing an item song, but her role as the young wife of a schoolmaster in Moondram Pirai left me with the most impression. At that time, the very tame and watered down 'sexy scene' with her ancient in-movie husband caught my attention. Indian movies have always been tame when it comes to women expressing their sexuality. But here is a tall, shapely woman gracing the silver screen oozing with it. She even donned a daring dress, lying down in it in the most unconventional way. She intrigued me but I was too young to read up about her in the internet.

source

While randomly surfing the web in my teens, I came across an infographic piece that highlighted Silk Smitha and her life. Curiosity once again ignited, I read up about her thoroughly. Disappointing results though, because every site I have been to regurgitated the same thing - small town Telugu girl trapped in poverty, forced to marry a much older man despite still in her teens, treated harshly by her in-laws, ran away from home and somehow fate worked itself along the way and she was noticed by a film director, Vinu Chakravarthy who brought her slowly into stardom, career took off in a flash and with the same speed her downfall arrived, next thing the cine-world knew, she had died in an apparent suicide.

Her life is the personification of shrouded mystery. There was even controversies about her given name - was is Vijayalaksmi or Vijayamala? From her debut, up till her death, there wasn't much highlight into her life. Maybe the actress herself managed to keep her life a mystery for personal reasons, but who knows? So many questions, so little answered.

source

They made a movie about her starring Vidya Balan as Silk, movie title: The Dirty Picture. The actress Vidya Balan acted flawlessly in this movie, it's worth a watch.

Let's begin where her life started - before her debut, she worked as a make-up artist and background dancing and minor roles. Her languid eyes, shapely figure and the bold way she carried herself did not escape the male gaze even then. A dance number as a village siren in Vandichakkaram got her noticed by the mass, and it was there her career shot up and given the screen name 'Silk Smitha'.

source

Aspiring to be a versatile actress, she did land herself on 'heroine-type' roles. But somewhere along the way, producers and directors exploited her sex appeal and gave her only roles that depicted her as a siren & a sex symbol, which she eventually came to be.

It was said that a movie need only a Silk Smitha dance number and the movie can be guaranteed in their ticket sales, such was her screen power. Within time, she had been featured in 400 films, rumour has it, she would have 3-4 shootings in a day. The cash flew in, she was one of the wealthiest actresses of her time.

I have always had this nagging feeling that her success as an actress is also her downfall as a woman. Surely, being typecasted as the sultry siren, seductress and temptress, contractually obliged to grind, shimmy and rub against various actors just to sell a movie would wear a woman down? Her role as the sexually frustrated young wife of an aging schoolmaster in Moondram Pirai was flawless, but repeatedly doing something time and again would garner a mastery over that 'something', wouldn't you think?

Silk Smitha in Moondram Pirai.

Silk Smitha was a professional - she was given roles of the only genre she was allowed to explore and she nailed it with ease. How long do you think she lasted until it broke her? I have seen the fiery passion with which she embraced her sexuality.

Did I fail to mention that she also has a softcore porn film under her resume? It became a cult classic apparently. It would seem to me Silk may have consented to being a sex symbol? If we omit extortion aside, can we assume she had consented to do softcore porn? Or was in her contract? A part of me feels like she had been contractually obliged to fulfill these roles, a part of me thinks she consented to be a sex symbol as a 'fuck you' to her negligent family and abusive in-laws. My feminist self is inclined to be believe it was the latter. After all, what better way to assert yourself to naysayers but to do exactly what they forbade you to do?

source

Testimonies from actors and actresses that worked with her revealed she was an introvert, taciturn. It was easy to mistake her silence as arrogance as she never approached anyone and yielded to no one. As for all introverts, she had to be approached. Other people needed to take the effort to get to know her. But once they do, not one is left without loving her to bits. Actress Anuradha described her as the cutest person she had ever met. Further investigations revealed she was also very genial and charitable but still kept to herself in sets.

It was said she had a lover, but it is still a blur of who exactly it was. Rumours varied between a certain divorced doctor with three children and the director Vinu Chakravarthy himself. It was said her lover lived with her. It got me wondered if this person was neither, but someone of a high position, so much so that he had paid the media to never reveal his name linked to her death? It is all very confusing. Her death was quite literally sudden. No one saw it coming - she was alive yesterday and today the highlighted televised news was about her death.

Like I said - so many questions, so little answered. It is as if someone out there is still working the wheels with which her death is to remain a mystery. My biggest concern is...there was apparently a suicide note; why wasn't it made public? Did it contain revelation so dangerous it imposed threat to certain people? My google-search prowess came to naught. I couldn't find anything on her 'suicide'. Mind you - even though her death was written of as "It is suspected that Smitha committed suicide by hanging.". It is either yes or a no. Suicide by hanging would have a mark on the neck, suicide by slashing would have lacerations on the arms or wrists, poison would show up in system/bloodwork. Suicide 'marks' are very telling on the nature of it, so why wasn't there a conclusion? Even her funeral seem to have been done in a hurry, as if the party involved couldn't wait for her to be cremated.

A part of me is sad that this enigmatic woman is not alive, for I am sure that if she had somehow pulled through her dark times, she might have been someone who made a mark in history.

Eternally beautiful, eternally bold, eternally living by her own rules.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silk_Smitha

AlyBongo : I Deserve To Be Raped

A passionate PSA derived from the personal experiences of the vlogger. If you're male, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE A MALE, you must watch this.

Kuma-Chan Receives His First Knitted Scarf.

Actually, this is more of my own very first knitted project. I have practicing techniques a bit, and decided I should use up my remaining yarns (at this point they're were so little in amount they're basically scraps) and it'll turn out to be a multicoloured as expected.

My sistah ordered a set of handmade & handpainted knitting needles - ChiaoGoo Blue Flower Knitting Needles from Etsy.

Packaging, this shit be trippy yo.

Baris, Baarriiisss - SEDIA!

Largest size in the whole wolf pack. This be the knitting needles I used for me project arrr...!!

I think I'll just let pictures do the talking from this point onward.

Before someone comes in with their high horses tryna bash me saying this is poor quality, Imma dish you some facts.

• This is is my ACTUAL FIRST KNITTING PROJECT. I was gauging my technique, tension, and even experimented with rotation.
• I know that first few bit where the yarn change is super visible, and in fact that is not at all how you change yarn colour but change yarn of the same colour.

• Just let it slide this time, mmkay. After all, a professional was once an amateur. 
• I have been studying a lot on knitting, so expect my next work to be a little better.
• For now, shut up and be happy that Kuma-Chan won't be cold at night anymore.

Now go back to your life.

My Retail Re-tale

So.

Pardon the long absence, the dust bunnies on my blog accumulated so much I had to clean it first before posting anything.

So.

I guess those who are close to me isn't a stranger to my first, actual new job that entailed working in retail, in a remainder bookstore.

I won't name it, those who know it, please keep it to yourself. It's in my contract that I agree to not shit about my workplace in the event that I leave it. That's the reason, really.

I have so much to babble about I don't know where to begin really, but it's mainly about the customer service part.

IT SUCKS.

SUCKS BIG TIME LIKE OLD MAN'S BALLS.

I used to be the asshat that laughed at posts in NotAlwaysRight.com. I laughed at the miseries of retail and service workers. Until I became one myself, I hadn't known that the struggle, pain and misery is real.

I was a floor staff, which meant I did the grunt work of removing and reshelving and placement of the books. Despite the physical labour part of it, it was an interesting work, really. You only see the books being placed on the shelf ready for your browsing but you don't know the behind the scenes part of it. I felt blessed to be a part of it. Being the one to unbox the new arrivals also means I get the first glimpses of any awesome new/much sought-after books. =D Believe me when I said I utilized this privilege wholly. =P

I agreed to this job because I was often turned down in job interviews with the same excuse - I don't see any customer service/sales experience. Shall I offer you a [insert low-paying job which I am way overqualified for].

It was distressing and heartbreaking and a tad depressing, to say the least.
I saw my local bookstore has permanent vacancy for the same position I applied and I got the job in like, a jiffy, quite literally.

Or maybe the desperation on my face was evident so they hired me.

I was ecstatic, finally! A job of my own. Something I will earn my keep for.
The first few weeks was tiring but enjoyable. But as it went on, I found myself losing my humanity, my innocence and most of all the light in my eyes, little by little being sucked by fucktards. Read that as customers.

The culture in my workplace is that you have to seek out to teach yourself and learn skills, like Customer Service procedures and Cashiering. Which I proudly declare because I am an introvert and I managed my hatred reluctance for people interaction and sucked it up anyway.

It doesn't take a genius to know that the experience was less than pleasant. Here's some incidents that broke me.

• Cashiering

1. This man had finished his transaction and later came back because he wanted a special promotion book. He slammed the book on the table and asked the book to be included in his previous transaction because he wants his membership discount on that book, which can only be given when the bill of a certain amount. Of course new book would mean a new transaction altogether but this man was recalcitrant, becoming a bully and demands to see the manager. Not wanting to distress other customers I set out to call my manager, even if it means putting my current customer on wait. When I came back, the man was gone and a co-worker had filled in for me. She told that he became embarrassed of his own rowdy behaviour and left without further incidence. This is not the only person who pulls this sort of shit, there were many more, and I suspect there won't be an end to this kiasu attitude.
2. Again, on weekdays, it was customary to have about only one cashier operating at one time as the crowd is substantially lesser than in the weekends. Again, I was the filler as the same coworker had gone to buka puasa. The line was long but at this point I had mastered the cashier system so I was quick to finish the transactions, I would admit the customers didn't wait long at all. Then came this assfucker who, after I had finished his transactions, rudely asked why am I the only cashier? "I had to wait for a long time!". So did the others. I had to tell him the cashiers had all gone to buka puasa and I was the only non-muslim staff available. With a scoff, he turned on his heel. Have a nice day to to you too, sir.
3. I was again the filler for the coworker who had gone to buka puasa, and I suddenly found myself entertaining a long line of customers. Mind you that I was the only cashier available. So it was this lady's turn, she came with her teen-aged daughter and said to me "It's okay, take your time. I am also sometimes slow like you.". Maybe she forgot that calling someone 'slow' in English means calling the other person stupid, or maybe she was well-aware of the nuances and didn't give a fuck because she's an arrogant bitch who had never had to work in retail. If I say I was taken aback would be an understatement because her insult affected me and I messed up her transaction as a result; which didn't help that I was already 'slow' in her eyes. My colleague came to help, luckily the matter was resolved in no time. The 'slow' jab the bitch made didn't help my mood for the rest of my week, so much so I have avoided any cashiering since then. I'd like to preserve what's left of my dignity, thank you.

• Customer Service.

Where do I even begin with this? 

1. We have MANY, disgustingly MANY customers who come in to exchange their books because they no longer find it interesting or that they have bought the wrong copy, or they simply don't want it anymore. We only have return/exchange policies for damaged books, not the cases mentioned above. Because really, in what way is it okay to ask for exchange because you made a mistake? I have been a customer to bookstores too and I wouldn't even think of exchanging a book because I bought the wrong one or somethin'. I'd merely sell them to a 2nd-hand bookstore or give it away as a gift. Books are never a waste. So assfuckers like this come in strolling like they own the joint asking for exchange and we must be really strict in doing so. Guess how many of them left amicably? Count the leaves of a tree in autumn.
2. Sometimes customers bring a plastic-sealed book, and if we don't have a browsing copy we open that copy for 'em. Many a time, the books are the last copies. Customers sometimes demand that the book be sold cheaper than it already is, simply because it is a last copy. If it was slightly damaged or dog-eared, I would have gladly come to some sort of compromise but it if it still brand new, jangan harap lah. This is a remainder bookstore, the books are already dirt cheap. You are not even buying 2nd-hand books, these are original books at an extremely discounted price, what more could you want? Kurangkan bangang. I even have customers who argue with the cashier that they want their perfectly good condition book in lesser price because "no one reads this author anyway". That'll be RM9.90, please. 
3. After purchasing a certain amount, customers can get a free membership. They need to fill out a form, simple enough as it is and the data is key-ed in and voila! You're a member. Most people would feel privileged to have such a simple and quick process but there are those who argue that they don't want to fill up anything, "Just give me the card". This is where I will tunjuk berang and ask in a stern voice "say suppose you forgot your member card, you need only give your name or IC and it will show up in the system and you can enjoy our discounts. If we don't have your particulars, how would we give you your discount?" Grumble, grumble, filling out form, grumble, grumble. Bukan main hegeh nak discount but you're not giving the means to do so? What the hell.
4. We have free gift-wrapping services, and 99% of the time, customers leave with a big smile because not only do they get their books wrapped for free without spending a dime on wrappers, our talented CS staffs does them most prettily. One time, this woman bought a bunch of books - and wanted them gift wrapped in the speed of lightning. "My husband haven't eaten! We're rushing!". I was on floor but I saw that the CS was understaffed, I set out to help. There is an agreement among us staff that obnoxious idiots like this we would get rid of them as quickly as we can. On my defense, this woman was shouting and making a huge fuss that other patrons were starting to get uncomfortable. I started to wrap her books when she stopped me and said "NO, NO, NO! I want them wrapped with a pattern like this!". The more experienced staff has a method of folding the wrappers in a way that the final product has some diagonal lines at the front, which I didn't know how to do. Understandable, because it is her right as a customer to want her books wrapped a certain way. I just couldn't stomach it when she went to my MY BOSS at her workstation and demanded that she leave whatever she is doing and help her wrap her books. She then proceeded to the CASHIERS and told them all to stop what they were doing and asked them to help her wrap her books. Okay, if the cashiers are occupied with her, and other customers want to make their purchase, who the fuck is gonna do the transactions, I wonder? Kurangkan bangang. At last her husband has had enough of her ridiculous antiques and probably told her to behave in Chinese because she quieted down after that. This was the most ridiculous incident in CS I had ever come across. 
5. The customer who just couldn't find his/her items when it is just on eye-level and complaint that we gave them the wrong info. I encounter this particular species all the time and I am not ashamed to say I will make it a point to escort their sorry ass to the shelf and pointed say "It's right here, how could you have missed it?" and walk-away. Rude, I know. Whatever, I have never liked people except for a selected few. Mind you, those who do come back and were super nice/sweet about not being able to find their book, I would gladly bring them the book and get the nicest copy for them from the shelf. It's the asshole ones that I would tunjuk berang, the nice ones memang I would go all out to help. 

Working in retail had allowed me to open my eyes to a whole new thing, diminishing my ignorance for the better. I am now well-aware what people in the service industry had to put up and shamefully, I might have contributed in being an asshole customer before my wonderful existential experience in my latest workplace. It's the one thing I must thank my workplace for - is to open my eyes and make me into a more decent fucking human being. I will never, ever again be needlessly kiasu to servers. People behind the counters are human beings. Arguing with them doesn't get you anywhere. They don't have the power to decide anything more advance than their job specs. If you give them hell of a time, I hope that's where you will end up when you die in the future. 

Protip for asshole customers. Siapa makan cili, dia rasa pedas.

• Don't argue with the cashier. They only finish up your transactions. Don't tell them that they're 'slow' or 'hurry up' or god forbid, demand a discount because you were made to wait for your turn like everyone else. Always remember she/he might new to this and is learning the best way she/he can. Every expert was once an amateur too. 
• Don't let off steam to people in the service industry because you had a bad day, we did nothing to deserve the brunt end of your pissbaby mood.
• Don't publicly humiliate CS personells or floor staffs (I have never been in this situation as a floor staff, just in CS and cashiering), it says more about you than it does about the staff. Ponder on that. 
• Leave your kiasu attitude at home, we are Malaysians, not Singaporeans. If anything, we Malaysians are famous for being friendly and amiable. Live up to the reputation, please.
• Don't ask for discount if it is the last copy of the item. You don't get brownie points for graciously accepting a last copy. You pay up like everyone else. Unless the item is in less than savoury condition, allow me to speak with my supervisor to give you your money's worth. 
• If the store is obviously using computers for everything, don't take it out on the staff when the system is not at its best. If the computer is lagging or simply having a bad connection, we are as helpless as you. Don't you ever had computers or phones that simply wouldn't work that particular day for some strange reason? 
• If the store is near closing, don't bring your ass sauntering around our store because retail has a 9-hour shift and the staffs are tired. Have a heart. Don't be a 5-minute pest. 

I am yet again jobless. Like I said, I just want this to job as a experience. My research told me potentials with experience in retail have a high chance of being hired in other job industries so I am counting on that. 

This gif succinctly describes my before-after state working in retail.

This had been a angst-filled, rant-y post, an honest re-account my experience in retail. Not all of it was unpleasant, my coworkers are the sunniest, happiest and friendliest bunch I have had the privilege to get to know. My coworkers literally made things easier for me. I am forever indebted to them for being so awesome at their jobs. 

For your perusal. 

a) 8 Infuriating Customer Types.