It's THAT time of the year again. Not even Deepavali, Thaipusam. Well, scratch that, every other family gathering you can ever think of.
Relatives are an interesting lot. You get to see the difference between the last time you saw them 6 months ago and now. Half a year ago, your aunt Ruth sported an afro, now she's bald. That ugly cousin everyone pokes fun of? Turns out she made quite an impressive makeover and is now the most beautiful of all the girls in your family. Kinda make you regret when you laughed along during all those times she was teased, dontcha? The junkie cousin? He's now a top student in his university. Darn.
No, these are not my relatives, I assure you.
Hearing fun, funny, interesting and defintely baffling stories from my friends with large families I have noticed a consistent pattern in the types of relatives in each of our families. This may not apply to all but take it with a spinch of salt, yeah?
a) The Cheek-Pinchers
The culprits usually being old aunties, grandma's and older cousins who sees you every other family occasion and goes OMG WOT IS THIS IM SEEING SHEELA'S DAUGHTERRR HAVE GROWN SOOOOOO BEEEEGGG!!!". Please bear with them. They mean well it's just that their enthusiasm rubs off on you excessively.
b) The Bragger.
This happens when you have aunties who have children around the same age as you. They would take this opportunity to brag about every little accomplishment their little Laddoo have made so far and not so subtly, they would ask "so, wot have you beeeen do-eeng?". Oh, nothing - I was recruited as a member for my department gazette, scored above C's last semesters, had a lecturer kept a copy of my Human Personality assignment because she seems to taken a liking to it, started a blog that has 1000 its per day, officially read over 500 books, completed my diploma with distinction, pursuing a well-sought degree in a prestigious university and had a popular article published in The Star newspaper when I was 16 years old, Oh, do you know that aspiring singer who's famous in YouTube now? She's my friend of 10 years. So...your son scored 10A's for SPM? Good for him.
Don't push your luck, lady. I can be malicious if I so choose to be.
c) The Scrooge
When family members visit, it's the hosts' and the rich guy's job to treat everyone at least once with a meal. The scrooge is rich but when it comes to taking out the wallet from his pockets, crocodiles seem to be in them since he's so reluctant to reach for it. But beware! The Scrooge never gives anyone anything, but is the first one to take the dishes on the table.
d) The favourite aunt/uncle
They're the life of the party. Everyone likes their company, everyone listens to what they have to say. You look forward to their company. They're always equipped with stories that lull you to sleep at nghttime. These are also the same relatives that becomes your accomplice in pulling pranks on other members.
e) The Black Sheep
Everyone avoids them. They don't hate them, mind you just that they or you dont want to be seen with such people. They could be a family member who's into drugs or something deviant in the eyes of society. Poor souls but life is like that.
Ah~~~ it was liberating to finally write up this article. I had this in my mind for a long time now. Friendly reminder, this was written sincerely from the heart with no apparent malicious intention to anyone who felt sour after reading this.
Ciao! <3
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