Poo-Pourri Review: It's Pooptastic!

I made that lame ass pun on purpose. 💩

Ever since this advertisement came out a couple of years back, I was most intrigued. But too bad the product is not sold in Malaysia and it's very expensive if bought over online.

I thought I could just request this as a birthday present if the time comes to it or look for it when I am abroad somewhere.

Which happened exactly that way, I was in Singapore in a famous mall and it was by off-chance that I saw this in a gift shop while looking for a fridge magnet as souvenir! I bought this at SGD$16.90 at Monoyono@Vivocity. Exchanged to Malaysian Ringgit it's not as expensive as its online price. I bought the smaller bottle at 59ml of the Poo La La scent! My understanding is this scent is discontinued! Which means I got this at miraculous circumstances!

My baby <3 p="">

Now you may ask, if you were dying for this why did you not get the biggest bottle? While I am excited and amused by the novelty of this product, I only have reviews on the internet to go by. The reviews were 98% positive and a friend of mine said she used it and it really works, I wanted to play it safe. After all, my poop smell is known to linger for an hour before dissipating (yes I have nasty asshole so what) I am of the understanding that no amount of shit perfume would be able to tackle 'em. 

I have never been so happy to be wrong in my life. I have used this about 4 times now and my goodness, this really works. I took a massive shitter the other day and my mother was able to use the toilet right away. Usually she would wait before using it. I have never been happier to smell the scent of rose and orange after every "plop". Even after flushing the pleasant smell lingers. NO TRACE OF YA NASTY ASS BROWNIE! 

I have decided to use this for my travels, when I am out and about and for when I am at work. Travels because I usually share a room when on holiday with the fam, and if I am out with my girls and I need to dump a load the next person using my stall would not faint from the nastiness of it all. 

I'd like to think I am a polite person! I want to recommend for my company to perhaps make the budget to have a bottle of these in each stall. One too many times I have walked in to a stall only to reel from disgust because the stench of shit of the previous user was too overwhelming. And how many people in my office have thought the same thing about my ass product? Maybe I could influence them to follow my footsteps.😎

I am thinking of getting the Royal Flush scent for my daily use. 💪😆

One thing I'd like to comment though: The bottle leaks a little bit. Maybe Poo-Pourri can work on tightening the nozzle. 

This is an honest review from a very satisfied customer who purchased this product on her own money and tested it on her own time and circumstances. 

What Does a Muscular Ectomorph, Mesomorph and Endomorph Look Like?

The burning question I have been asking for many years. There seems to be no actual-person visual representation available apart from some line drawings of how they may look like.

Princess Ganga is here to save your peasant ass, as her own journey on fitness made her do her own research. Back to first person narrative.

When you google what does a muscular ectomorph/mesomorph/endomorph looks like, you would normally get this:

Or this:

Now THIS is what I wanted to know. Fat and muscle distribution on the specific body types.

But I struggled to find a human who would give me an actual real-life example.

Now behold.

Ectomorph:

Ectomorphs are the kind of people you wanna hate. They don't gain weight easily, so these are the fuckers that can pig out and never seem to gain weight. Fuck ectomoprhs. 

A real life example of who possesses this body type? Youtube Fitness Guru and Model Scott Herman.

Notice how small and narrow his shoulders are? And how his shoulders, the sides at his ribs and hips seem to be almost the same measurements? Ectomorphs are characterized by their distinct "rectangle" shape: measurements of shoulders, torso and hips are quite the same. Ectomorphs' lean muscle distribution is all over the body. When Ectomorphs puts on muscle, the pectorals would stand out the most. Scott Herman also has a fine bubble butt, and I may have saved a couple of pictures in my folders. 

Mesomorphs:

Mesomorphs are the kind of body most men covet and most people find attractive. Male Greek sculptures are usually depicted with the mesomorph body type.When a mesomorph puts on muscle, the body type is aesthetically appealing. Broad shoulders with the torso cascading to a V-shape ending in a slim waist ie the infamous "inverted triangle" shape. The Mesomorph is pleasing to look at, but does not do well in strength. Sure, the muscle is beautifully distributed on the upper body, but because the mesomorphs waist is tiny compared with usually twice as big broad shoulders, there can be back problems. I am a mesomoprh and you will also see female versions down below. 

The best example of a mesomorph body, apart from Hritik Roshan, is Indian actor Vidyut Jamwal. Cue drool. 

I admit that I am a slut for this body type. But the body type that makes me cream my knickers off, is...

A muscular endomorph:

An endomorph when gain muscle tend to retain their signature rounded belly: ie the "apple shape". A pair of powerful arms & upper back against a taut belly is to DIE for. These guys are the powerful ones. May not be stereotypically attractive like the mesomorph, but a muscular endomorph is the true powerhouse body. 

Who has this body type? None other than Tom Hardy as Bane in the third Nolan's Batman installments. 

Oh, mama. Oh damn son. Oy....

*clears throat*. 

 This is by far the most beautiful example of a muscular endomorph. We all can thank Tom Hardy again when he retained this body for his MMA movie Warrior. *swwoooonnnnn*. You know when in movies they show the "strongmen" punch the tooth out of someone? A muscular endomorph can actually break your skull. Characterized by their upperback strength, you don't want to be in a chokehold with these guys. 

Now, for the ladies! 

What does a muscular female mesomorph look like? Like Youtube Fitness guru Tiffany Rothe. 

Oh mama, you fine. 

Because a woman has naturally wide hips anyway, a muscular female mesomorph would have this beautiful hourglass figure that'll rock any dress! Yes, female mesomorphs are the coveted hourglass figure. 

What does a muscular ectomorph look like? This athlete right here. 

Her shoulders, torso and waist are more or less the same measurement, giving her the distinct "rectangle" shape as her male counterpart. If she dons a bikini, her body would look "well balanced". 

What does a muscular endomorph look like? Bear in mind, a female endomorph is a "pear" shape while a male endomorphs is an "apple shape". Powerlifter Liane Blyn is the best example available out there.

Notice how she still has some chubbiness. Her arms especially. Endomorphs in general tend to retain their "body softness".

Here she is doing what she does best! Notice how her waist and below is bigger than her shoulders. Endomorph women's defining trait are their ample thighs. 

I hope you enjoyed reading this just as much as I took the time to research about it. 

Things You're Not Told About Menarche

You know the exact moment you discover that your uterus lining decide to break apart and ooze messy, weird smelling blood and clots? That's what menarche is. It's your very first period.

Every girl experiences it differently. Some girls feel no pain and they just discover some smudge of blood on their panties. And they're like, oh!

Some girls have a more dramatic experience: the lower abdomen twists from within causing sometimes vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, headaches, lethargy, mood swings, cravings, crying episodes, the whole human mess thing.

Here's my experience of menarche. I was 13. It was during a class. I had this very uncomfortable pains on my lower back, like something was swollen and it was throbbing. Sitting was agonizing. By lunchtime, I felt something "goopy" coming out of my vagina. I ran to the girls, and woah! Mass of putrid brown-black clumps. It was jelly-like and solid so I could collect it (with tissues ya nasty!) and flush it down the toilet. I saw traces of blood. I knew then that I got my period. Luckily the girl's bathroom in my school had a pad dispenser so I was able to purchase one and set myself out. I called my mother and asked her to pick me up because I was nervous, scared and wanted desperately to be at home. This was huge. This was the moment where I am gonna have to relive this every month until menopause sets in. I was extremely overwhelmed. I just wanted my mother by my side.

I should consider myself lucky: My cycles are only 3-4 days and I am what you call a light bleeder. I don't need heavy duty pads at all, except for my second day. My pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS) include extreme cravings, water retention, diarrhea and constipation, moodiness and discomfort on my lower back. I am swollen EVERYWHERE.

The reason why your menarche would most definitely be a mess of putrid black-brown clumps and goo is because that particular batch of uterus lining had been sleeping inside your uterus since you had formed your gender in your mother's womb. That's right: when you were a fetus, and when your fetal development had come to a stage where your biological gender had taken form, your uterus lining had already formed. Basically a ticking timer ready to come out when your biological clock decides "Hmn, time for this 11 year old to bear children!".

Oh yes, some girls get it when they are 9 years old, some get it when they are older like 16-17. There is no 'right age' to get your period. You get it when you get it. The common age is between 12-14 years old. Getting it younger or later than most girls in your class does not mean your systems are faulty. HELL NO. Obliterate that toxic thought from your head this instant!

Factors like nutrition can contribute to when you get your period, but your genetic plays a more powerful role. Remember that.

After your menarche, it may take up to 2 months for your body to find its cycle. The month I got my menarche? I had a second period 2 weeks later. This cycle was also a putrid black-brown mess. The next month, I had it for only 3 days and it was all very light. The third month is where things have started to settle down and I could see a regular pattern settling. I saw no more of that brown-black clump. From that point onwards I could see that the PMS symptoms I mentioned above is something that I can anticipate before the Kraken in my uterus is unleashed. The minute I get my period, all PMS subsides JUST. LIKE. THAT.

Your menarche may be painless or it can hurt the living bejeesus out of you. Your period can be 3-4 days like mine, or it can be 5-7 days like most girls. Your symptoms can be so extreme that you need to take leave from work or school, or you barely feel it. You may need to use extreme absorbency pads, or just a lightweight one. You may find that tampon works best for you. Trust me when I say it would a journey of discovery. You will try with many brands of tampons and pads before you settle with one that suits your cycle the best. You will find out what coping methods are the best for your pre and post menstruation. You will find that apart from pads and tampons, mooncups are also an option.

Your physical changes will lead to emotional changes. You will discover your sexuality. Your will start to get interested in knowing more about sexuality. You may research about safe ways to go about it. This is where you will need to engage with a trusted older female in your life to ask questions. NEVER be afraid to ask questions.

A website that helped me in my teens to understand my "growing pains": http://www.scarleteen.com/

Himalaya Herbals: Triphala Review

I have always suffered from bloating. I love food but eating in general makes me uncomfortable, due to the after effect. Bloating not only makes my belly bigger than it really is, I end up being gassy at both ends until the food digests.

I learned that some people have missing enzymes in their stomach that causes them to digest certain types of foods inefficiently. That certainly rings true for me as some of the food that I eat simply doesn't digest! (How I know? I looked back to examine my er...'brownies' and saw that the food I chewed remained as bolus and not 'brownies'). Therefore I am convinced that my stomach is missing some digestive enzymes.

This poses a huge problem, as the foods that you eat determines the health of your second brain, the GI-tract. The GI-tract contains beneficial bacteria that helps in digestion and absorption of food. So imagine having a wonky stomach content and the GI-tract unable to recognize the breakdown of the digested food, because the undigested bolus interrupts the GI-tract and...you get the picture.

When I bake brownies in the wazoo, the experience had always been unpleasant for me. Some days I am positively a musical human march band.

So I began to research foods and supplements that would help in digesting my foods, also act as my digestive enzyme that would not irritate my GI-tract. You see, we're essentially looking at probiotics here. 

Yoghurt is the easiest and convenient access to probiotics but the ones on the supermarket shelf has preservatives and sugars in it. Did I mention that my stomach can't also digest sugar effectively?My research explains why I seem to have fatty deposits on specific parts of my body; making me look completely out of shape. There's also another problem: I am lactose-intolerant. So yoghurt, easily accessible as they may be, 1) I can't digest fucking milk, 2) it has sugar. Both of which would only worsen my condition. 

So I researched probiotics and supplements similar to that. I found Triphala. Pronounced tree-palla. 

What is Triphala? According to Banyan Botanicals, literally meaning “three fruits”, triphala is a traditional Ayurvedic herbal formulation consisting of three fruits native to the Indian subcontinent: Amalaki (Emblica officinalis), Bibhitaki (Terminalia belerica) and Haritaki (Terminalia chebula). 

Benefits listed are as follows:

Assists natural internal cleansing

• Gently maintains regularity
• Nourishes and rejuvenates the tissues
• Supports healthy digestion and absorption
• Natural antioxidant

I have found the magic elixir that basically cured my digestive health. The first few days I started on this capsule, I had the shits like there was no end to it. Triphala does that you see: cleanses your gut, liver and spleen of impurities and toxins. After approximately 5 days, I noticed absolutely incredible changes in my digestive health.

I am no longer a walking human trumpet, there are farts here and there but not as frequent as before. I poop regularly, my bloating stopped.

This doesn't mean I can eat those foods whose enzymes had been missing. Nay, I still eat food where the sugars are naturally occurring like some fruits and veges. The odd teh tarik and milo panas now doesn't bloat if I pop in 2 capsules after eating. I eat 2-3 capsules right after eating and the results have been tremendous. I no longer suck my stomach to hide the bloat nor do I waddle like I am 4 months pregnant.

My stomach is slowly becoming flatter as Triphala also assist in weight loss if taken with proper food and exercise.

The brand I am using is Himalaya Herbals' Triphala vegan capsules. At the time I bought this, there was sale but I ended up buying only a bottle as I did not know how well it worked for me. Had I known, I would have bought boxes of it!

So if you a gal (or gent) that suffers from bloating and indigestion like me, try this.

DISCLAIMER: Make sure you research thoroughly about Triphala like I did before deciding to go ahead with it. This magic elixir is extremely potent and reacts differently in some people!

The Innocents (2016): Review

A Polish-French movie set in WWII Poland in 1945, tells a story of a young French nurse who ends up helping some pregnant nuns in a closeby church.

The movie beautifully explores PTSD, doing what is right despite your believes, questioning your faith and everything you have lived by your entire life.

The nun's lives are changed forever by the French nurse Mathilde, who takes greats risks to travel between her French Red Cross mission and the church, while avoiding invading Russian soldiers. 

The movie may be jarring and uncomfortable to some, but this was based on a true story. Of how a lone young woman protected a group of vulnerable nuns from relieving their nightmares for the umpteenth time.

The ending is bittersweet but satisfying, thanks to Mathilde's bravery and excellent presence of mind.

A truly woman-positive movie that we all deserved.

Acting was natural, emotions were delivered calmly yet remained powerful in their impact. The quiet resilience theme of this movie is what got to me the most, being a non-dramatic person myself.

Highly recommended. Does not portray women as simpering ninnies, but women who are broken by their repeated nightmares yet still finding the strength to live.

Director Anne Fontaine carved the delivery of this movie sensitively, with a lot empathy and projected kindness for women who's live revolve around suffering alone.

Malaysian Passport Renewal via Online

Consider this a long overdue review. My laziness knows no boundaries.

Ever since we received the irresponsible news from Malaysian Immigration that passport booklet stock is in a deplete and that renewal could take up to 6 months, Malaysians flocked to Immigration Offices, queue-ing up from 3am onwards just to get numbers; travelling became a nightmare.

I have been a victim of this too, sacrificing my well-deserved weekends queue-ing up at immigration offices only to find that I am unable to get a number (angka giliran).

Fearing for my impending overseas travel in 3 weeks and my passport expiring in 3 months, I had no choice but to put my hands on the MyOnline Passport system that commenced in 03 Sept 2016. I began my application on the very next day.

Paying online was a hassle, a damned nightmare as the FXS payment system was permanently down, promptig me to refresh for the millionth time and even sacrifice my lunch breaks at work to sit in front of the computer and eat while damnably clicking refresh. While at home, on the 4th Sept (Saturday), FXS payment was finally up and I managed to make payment. E-Receipt was issued and my instruction was to come the next day (6th Sept, Sunday) to collect at my chosen Immigration office. I chose the Pudu UTC as it is nearest to my office. I could just pop in after work.

So I sacrificed yet another weekend, as collection was only between 9.00am-4.30pm. So after one hour journey from home, I gleefully reached the Pudu office only to be told collections are never on weekends  but weekdays only. I shoved the receipt on his face and pointed that I am following instructions.

He then pointed to an instruction, conveniently printed in small font, that says collection is only from Monday-Friday with the times specified above. I fumed. I fumed at the very polite and apologetic immigration officer, I fumed during my entire journey home. I fumed at the Malaysian Immigration customer complaints page.

I decided to wait one week to give these guys leeway in preparing my passport. I went back Friday the next week around 3.00pm and thankfully I was given a number as I was an "online payment" customer. I waited 15 minutes for my number to be called only to be told that my picture is wrong. So the very polite and patient immigration officer (he was tho, I am not being sarcastic) apologized and took my picture and told me that after this I can collect, just wait for my number.

I am a very prepared and resourceful young woman you see, anticipating the long wait commonplace in government offices, I brought my knitting needle and yarn. Let the wait begin.

I waited for exactly one hour when my number was called. I finished a simple square dishcloth by that time.

Apalagi, gumbira lah dapat passport baru. Signed the forms, new passport and retrieved the old one.

Went home. I actually stood in the Immigration office hallway and just LOOKED at my shiny new passport. Doesn't matter that my passport photo looked like a mugshot. I had a new passport valid for 5 years. I don't have to think about this caboodle of a mess for another 5 years.

And that folks, recounts my nightmare of a journey getting a new Malaysian passport.

Lessons Learned:

1. Always pick up your passport on a working day.
2. Your photo uploaded online may very well be rejected by the system, so prepare to get a new one at the office anyway.
3. You will wait long. Bring a book to keep yourself occupied, like me with my yarn and knitting needle.

My Experience with Wazoo

Let's call it...Wazoo. I didn't use Tinder because it requires Facebook log in. Plus, fuck Mark Zuckerberg.

I thought at my age, my dating prospects aren't looking very good. Guys my age are either up for a lay, laying guys or laying someone else. Also not forgetting the 40+ men who are strangely not married yet but thinks it's okay to creep on girls my age.

I am looking for something that would eventually turn into marriage or long partnership. So I thought, let's make this dating apps and website a strictly experimental thing before I decide how to approach this whole dating game on my own way, a way I deem the safest.

I have read horror stories from people who used Tinder/Grindr, Wazoo, PlentyofFish, OkCupid and Match.com. I jumped into this sea of online dating knowing full well I would have my own share of creepypastas. I am not disappointed. I have never, ever planned to meet my Mr. Right on anonymous dating platforms where anyone can be anything. I am not looking for a double life here.

I have had guys who were so persistent they would view my profiles several times a day, send me barfing-ly sweet messages every few days, and assign endearments without even getting to know me (and I didn't give them a chance either, why would I? They have desperate written all over their faces).

I have also had the absolute pleasure of viewing profiles that were basically looking for women that don't exist. There's always 'those' guys who write like they're a serious catch and explicitly state they don't want girls of a certain ethnicity or religion. Wow. Charmer. Your mama must be so proud. I pity the girl who gets stuck with you, pal.

And then you have the genuine profiles of such good-looking men with successful careers; those who REALLY don't need dating sites to meet someone. Its just makes you wonder why and what, an all-rounders guy doing here? What dark Christian Grey-secret is he hiding? Honey let me tell you if you see a good looking guy, with a good career and active social life in a dating website, something is seriously wrong with him. Girls in his own environment don't want him, that's why he's here. I can speak for myself too, but I make it explicitly known that I am not expecting to meet anyone. This is not some Katherine Heigl romance movie, this is real life.

So what are my options? What piece of work is laid for me?

Oh God, I think I am mentally scarred. Most dating platforms gives you the option to filter the kind of people you wanna meet but my god holy shit. No. God no.

I lasted ONE WEEK on Wazoo (because this dating app looked really respectable TBH, kinda glad to be disappointed on this one. Tinder straight up showed me how trashy the people in there are).
Suffice to say, for the moment I'm gonna ruminate on the fact that I am safely single, but would thread the waters carefully before getting ready to mingle.